Category Archives: life

roots, trees and clouds

life, ,

Losing nerve, doubting, fearing, wondering, are part of life.  

My life.

Yours Too?

It was after church today when I was racing through the foyer.  I stopped to say hi to a lady I have never spoken to.   Oh she isn’t new.  She’s been around for a long time.  “You always look so happy” she said to me.  I smiled, chatted for a minute or two.  Bless her heart.  She got me to thinking.  I am thankful that she sees Happy when I pass by.  What she doesn’t know is,  lots of times I am not happy.  She likely does know that.  I mean who’s happy “always”? This week was one of those for me.  Can’t explain it.  No good reason except that I had to remind myself a few times that life is good, God is gracious, blessing takes different forms on different days, but it’s there. Think about it.  Count the ways. 

I went to Deuteronomy 31:8

 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.  

That’s blessing if ever there has been.

It came to me again that I far too often ponder things I will never figure out.  I am thankful tonight that even in the hours when I have lost my nerve, He still goes before me.  It isn’t His way, to turn His back when the cloud rolls in. Strangely, that cloud settles sometimes when you would think there is just no good reason.    That’s life.  Can’t always be explained.  

This week was full of people for me.   I hide myself in people.  Laughter, sharing, praying even.  Oh and tables.  They go together, people and tables.  These past few days have been filled with both.  Different sizes and shapes.  Even as I felt my nerve slipping away, the doubt settling in, I found myself sitting across the table from people.  All friends.  Some have been that for a very long time and some for not so long.  Several of those ‘around the table’ times turned into three hour visits.  Nano has been known to say that once you get people sitting at the table you should not disrupt what’s been created, conversation, community, by suggesting “we should go and sit on more comfortable chairs.  Let’s move to the living/sitting/family room.”  No way.  Once at the table, stay there.  When you’re looking for dining room or even kitchen furniture give much attention to the chairs you will sit on around the table.  Sit, eat, visit, laugh, cry, share life and stay put.  Relax and be comfortable but don’t think it would be better if you sat on a different chair.  Hospitality around a table cannot be recreated if it is interrupted.  I promise.  Even when my little ones were very little we most often sat around the table.  It’s the same even now.  

Sometimes I ignore for a minute what I know is true. People can’t fill the empty place in my heart that was created for God.  

As my nerve ebbed away this week I found myself searching.  When darkness seems to fill the place where joy should be I remember whose I am.  You see, He is my light.  He is my salvation.  I don’t need to be afraid.

You don’t either.  

Everything seems pretty big sometimes.  You too?  Believe me, God knows.  He made an empty spot in my heart that nothing can fill.  Except Him.  I don’t ever really forget that.  I do let stuff get bigger and more important though.  When my heart starts to get tight and a bit cold, troubled, it’s usually because I haven’t spent much time with the friend who knows me best.  Tonight is almost over and tomorrow is coming in a few hours.  When I wake up and before my feet hit the floor I will invite Him to join me.  God is like that.  He doesn’t force His way into my day.  He lets me come around to inviting Him.

 The cloud I watched darken overhead last week has all but disappeared and although it is often on the horizon, I know it doesn’t need to block out the sun.   Joy is a choice I need to make.   God will do great things  In my life and quite possibly in the lives of people I will sit across the table from.  That’s pretty exciting.  

One of my table experiences last week was with a cousin I have not spent much time with.  Three hours came and went and we visited and chatted and there were even a few moments of glistening eyes.  Her mom left this earth a year ago.  She is missed.  This mom was my mom’s sister and they shared the grandma name of Nano, just like their mother had.  This cousin and I have a few things in common besides Nano.  There is a strong family resemblance.  We look different but we also look similar.  She has a sister who lives far away just as I do.  We will meet again and will share more.  We are relatives,  a great way to begin a friendship.  

To the East and on the very edge of this country of ours, is another family I hardly know.    Miles have kept us apart. We have missed gathering together and sharing life but we are family.  One of them left this earth yesterday.  She was not old but has lived life differently, confined to a wheelchair since she was a child, loved and cared for by her dear ones.  She was blessed and full of praise.  She knew that one day she would be whole and able to dance.  That day has come and although her precious ones will miss her they look forward to dancing with her, later.

 Yes, this week has been full.  Of friends and tables and remembering and thanking and as I go to sleep now, worshipping.  The clouds will hover but they will not cover the beauty of their creator.

 I am my beloved’s and He is mine.  His banner over me is love.

 

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My favorite muffins

life, ,

I love to serve muffins in the morning for breakfast or tea/coffee time.
When my little ones were actually little I usually had muffins in the freezer to warm up for snacks.
Their favorites were of course banana chocolate chip.
Mine were blueberry.
About 25 years ago my friend Jane served me the most delicious Blueberry muffin I had ever eaten.
She gave me the recipe and it is still in my recipe box.
Some of my recipes have been rewritten but not this one.
It is quite worn looking and is splattered with blueberry stains.. Nevertheless I cannot part with it.
The writing is still legible and I treasure it.
IMG_20140426_224518
Not just because the muffins taste good but also because it is a reminder of sweet times over a cup of something warm.
I guess I am sentimental.
Over the years I have experimented with different recipes but I keep coming back to this well worn card.

If you enjoy blueberry muffins this is for you.

This is a picture of my Go To muffin spoon.

my muffin spoon
my muffin spoon

Nano gave it to me when I moved into my first apartment. I was 20. It has moved to seven different homes in 35 years and it is a treasured utensil in my kitchen. I don’t know if I could make muffins without it. The very best, perfect shape for muffin tins.

Dinner in 40 minutes

life

Last night I found myself in a bit of a tangle.

I spent the day out and about, visiting mostly, which is one of my very favorite activities.
A friend I haven’t seen often in recent years but we go back, a long way. It was good to catch up.
Lunch with two more. One I interact with regularly for which I am thankful. The other I see less frequently, but when I do we pick up where we left off. Easy! Friendly! Fellowship!
All three of these are sisters. Not blood of course. I have only one of those who I don’t get to see very often.
These are sisters because we are all part of God’s family. We have each decided, at some point in our lives, to commit our way unto Him. We realized a long time ago that we are most certainly sinners needing a savior. Thankfully we (and everyone He created) have a savior.
Phew! Sinners saved by His amazing Grace.
These others are people that God has seen fit to place, in His time, in my life.
God is my Refuge and my Strength
God is the cornerstone of all that I am

But graciously, He decided I would just do better if I had people to interact with. He in His great, Creator Wisdom, looked at me and thought I needed some extra exhorting. He knew I would live the abundant life more beautifully if I had friends to encourage me. Yep, I am a needy soul.

Friends are good. Sometimes they stretch me. My patience, my faithfulness, my joy and even my peace.
Friends require effort.
Friends are a blessing.

So, I was doing what I do and found myself rushing around at the last minute.
I get to do what I do because my husband does what he does. We are both living the life God is allowing us to live.
Thankful!
Part of my life is caring for him, this husband God made for me.
I try to keep his laundry clean (although at this time I have laundry machine issues)
I attempt to get a meal on the table for when he walks in the door, when we aren’t heading out somewhere to let someone else cook us a meal.

Last night I looked at the clock and had 30 minutes between when I walked in the door and when he was scheduled to arrive home.
Thankfully I had a few things in the fridge.
I pulled them out and thought about what I was going to do with them, while I was doing it.
That seems to be the way I fly. Literally one minute at a time.

I had some chicken tenders I had picked up two days ago. I usually don’t buy them because they are expensive, but when I see them on sale I jump on them. Tasty!
IMG_9970

I took these fixuns and went to work.
Now, I was pretty much at the 30 minute mark when I had a dingle on my hand held and the message read,
“running late, leaving in 5”.
Oh THANK GOODNESS. I had an extra 15 minutes.
Well I think it all turned out quite well.
Chicken tenders, salad with fruit and nuts, whole wheat fettuccine
finished off with a two day old piece of chocolate cake which was by the way, delicious.
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I was so excited when I walked in the door and realized I still had some of that cake left.
Yay!

It’s looking like Spring

life

There’s a man working in my teeny tiny back yard. Leftover leaves are filling a bucket and soil from the back of a truck is being spread around. The sun is shining and Lady Antebellum is singing in my living room.
It’s good to be home and spending time in this kitchen, looking out. Soon I will go for a walk and breath in some of that blue sky fresh air.
Today, I am thankful for eyes to see, ears to hear, tastebuds with which to enjoy fresh creations and fingers touching, this keyboard and the things around me.
Reminded
that some don’t have these luxuries. The senses I mean. I often forget that nothing in this world can be assumed.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am seeing lots of it.
Thankful
Lord, please keep reminding me of how thankful I should be and am not.
When I am and do, thank you, the blessing is beyond what I can ask or think.

Psalm 138 is David’s prayer from a full heart.
Two verses jumped when I read them
:1 I give you thanks Lord, with my whole heart
:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life

My life, here in the city, is not in danger as far as I can see, but tomorrow is not visible and I really cannot proclaim safety as a For Sure. I am dependent upon the creator, the one who designed the path, to decide what tomorrow will look like.
I pray
I ask
never assuming.
Trusting and counting on Him to decide what is best, for me,
What will glorify Him in my life.
All the while asking that He will grant me another day to use these senses He blesses me with, to live.

Yesterday I celebrated life with a friend.
God decided to drop us right into the mess of each others lives about 27 years ago.
We have had our ups and downs. Tears shed, secrets whispered, much laughter shared. Life is a heap of all kinds of good and bad but when you dig around in it there is beauty.
Seeds of joy and love are planted and they grow, with the help of some feeding and top dressing.
Rich, fertile, dirty, smelly experiences grow beautiful maturity and wisdom.
Well
The life we celebrated last night is not the usual.
We celebrated New Life.
You see, she has been born twice and yesterday was the twentieth birthday of the second.
“What?” You ask
“No Way”. you say
Truth
There can be no second without the first so I am thankful God created her. Put her here.
She teaches me
I teach her
The second birth was her response to What God did for her on The cross. Remember last weekend we celebrated Jesus. His life, death and resurrection.
Twenty years ago my friend recognized that Sin ~ because every single person created is a sinner ~ had separated her from God.
He opened her eyes to her need and she recognized that life without a relationship with Him is really no life at all.
I was present that day twenty years ago and there was great rejoicing as God, His angels and I welcomed her into the family. God adopted her and she has never looked back.
So last night the celebration was pretty special.
She is thankful, still.
I am thankful, also.
God’s arms are wrapped around her.
He is holding all the details of her life and releasing them just a few at a time.

Today is a beautiful day to celebrate life.
The original, coming into the world.
The second, being brought into the Family of God.

1 Peter 1:8,9
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,
obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Oh Happy Day

life

And just like that it’s over.
This trip to desert beauty.
Working out details with my ‘soon to be’ relatives.
Birthday celebrations. Mine. With a little girl who loves to celebrate, just about anything, whenever possible.
Stuff and nonsense with that same little one who is all grown up and a husband who is full of just that, stuff and nonsense, whenever he can be and get away with it.
Dinners in favorite desert restaurants.
Sunsets over mountains.
Blooming flowers on top of prickly cacti.
Mama hummingbird sitting patiently outside this kitchen window and then feeding babies with open mouths.
Memories all.
And then Easter.
A song sung at this church in the desert goes like this

The Greatest Day in History
Death is beaten
you have rescued me
Sing it out Jesus is Alive

Oh Happy Day Happy Day
You washed my sin away
Oh Happy Day Happy Day
I’ll never be the same

The empty cross
the empty grave
Life eternal you have won the day
Shout it out Jesus is alive.

Oh Happy Day
…Forever I am changed

When I stand in that place
Free at Last meeting Face to Face
I am yours Jesus you are mine.

Oh Happy Day
Forever I am changed

Oh What a Glorious Day
What a Glorious Way
You have saved me.

We sang this song today, Easter Sunday.
Resurrection Sunday.

I tell you, it was impossible to stand with both feet planted on the floor while that song was echoing through the place.
Blessing beyond what I can ask or think.
Blessing pours into my very soul when I praise the one who has rescued me.
If you have never felt the joy that comes from praising God, do it. Praise Him no matter
How sad you are
How difficult your life is
How wayward your children are
How distant your husband is
No matter how much money you have or don’t have in the bank.
Do it!
He has rescued us. Oh Happy Day
Of course we should do it every day but just as we praise God for sending Jesus as a baby, at Christmas time,
And we thank Him for pouring out His blood when we share communion the breaking of bread,
Easter is that wonderful celebration time of thanksgiving for Jesus death and resurrection.
It is a designated time when we actually focus on it.
Oh Happy Day He washed my sin away.

I love Spring and Birthdays and Easter. New Life. The promises. The Hope of Life spent with Him. I call that “God Hope”.
Oh Happy Day He washed my sin away.

Jesus is Love. Real, true love. Like nothing we can conjure up or recreate. He is God and we are His creation. God tells us ~ Not told! Present tense, because we are supposed to keep reading it and listening and learning and doing. He keeps telling us. He is so patient and wise and He knew when He first told His people way back in the early days what He wanted them to do, that we would all need to read it over and over and over again. So He wrote it all down for us. That way He could tell us, over and over again, every time we read it, how to live and how to love and how to be like Jesus.
Oh Happy Day
Jesus is alive!

He was born, He lived (perfectly), He died a horrific, bloody, cruel, devastating, painful death on that cross.
He rose again. He lives now. I live in “God Hope” because of what He did.
As good as we try to be, as kind, as loving, it doesn’t compare to that.

Easter is not about being kind, or sharing what we have, or giving to the food bank, or turning the other cheek. Those things are good. So good that we should do them constantly.
But
Easter is about Jesus. Dying on a cross. Rising from the dead. To take our sins away.
Oh Happy Day
He washed my sin away.

All those years ago when I was living in the preacher’s house and he was reading his Bible and getting ready for Sundays, week after week and I was watching how he lived without even realizing I was doing it, God was teaching me.
The preacher shared constantly, daily, about Jesus and His love and my need for that love.
Our mother, Nano, listened and cared and watched over her little ones.
Easter approached and I was excited. Partly because Easter is also Birthday time and I told you a few days ago in Birthdays remembered how I felt about birthdays back then. Another reason for excitement was because Easter comes in Spring and I do love Spring.
I also loved the songs that we sang on Easter Sunday. Great old hymns.
*Up From the Grave He arose
*Christ The Lord is Risen Today
*Christ Arose

But truthfully part of the reason for my excitement was the new clothes. We did not have much money but we were always well dressed because my mom sewed all of our clothes. Dresses, skirts, jumpers, blouses.

My new Easter suit, and blouse. I went to church always carrying a purse.
My new Easter suit, and blouse. I went to church always carrying a purse.

I was telling someone this week how we always wore dresses on Sunday morning and then after rest time and tea time we would get to wear a jumper or a skirt (dressed down) to evening service.
Every Spring I got new shoes. Sometimes they were black patent. If we could find a pair to fit me. Those terrible narrow feet of mine meant we had to drive an hour to the next town to the store that sold narrow widths. My dad the preacher was very particular about our feet. He had had to wear shoes that did not fit properly, for most of his life and he had the feet to prove it.
So, he made sure we had properly fitting shoes.
Which meant that mine were usually “sensible”.
But sometimes we found beautiful black shiny ones. Never slip ons. They always had a strap over the top of my foot so it would stay put.
We would buy the new shoes a few weeks before Easter but I never, ever got to wear them until Good Friday service. To be clear, the towns we lived in when I was little usually had snow almost until Easter. I am sure I prayed before many an Easter Sunday that God would PLEASE make the snow disappear and the roads become dry, so I could wear my new shoes.
Those prayers and the subject of those prayers, along with my new Easter outfit were enough to cause me some sleepless nights before Good Friday. Excitement.

Then with hair curled up to my cheeckbones, my new clothes on and the ham and scalloped potatoes in the oven, off we went to church.
We usually sat in the fourth row from the front. Close enough to be a support to the preacher and a good influence on the other parishioners, far enough back to let others sit in front of us if they wished.
The music was not what it is these days but even then it was sung with hearts full of praise and was, I am quite certain, a sweet aroma to the one receiving it.
We loved Jesus
We were thankful for His sacrifice on our behalf and wanted to do our very best to present ourselves well (after all, if we were going to visit an earthly king we would certainly wear our best duds, so why would we not do the same for our savior?)
All dressed up, I sang my songs of praise and I remember Joy.
It was partly about Spring. It was partly about Jesus and His love for me and it was most certainly also about my new Easter Clothes.
Precious memories.

Oh Happy Day
Jesus washed my sins away