It’s a Monday in November and the door is open. I’m wearing short sleeves. The sun is shining and I should be outside. I will be, later. Right now though, I want to tell you a story. The modern age makes it easier, to share thoughts and yes, stories. Remember back so long ago, ten, fifteen years? We phoned each other when we had something to say. We wrote notes and letters and cards. Now though, we rarely speak verbally to each other. We write This way. I like it and still, I miss the old way.

Family.

We all have one and who the family is, affects who the individuals are.

When ‘we’ grew up, there was no family anywhere near. No cousins, No grandparents, No silly uncles or sweet aunts. It was just Us. The five. We found people and learned to look for them, who would wrap their arms around us when we needed comforting and open the door to us when the soup pot was on. We learned the value of friendship and the richness of sharing life with people who weren’t kin. Papa was from Newfoundland and just a few years ago, my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband and I, paid our East coast relatives a visit. They rolled out the red carpet for us and we met cousins we had heard of yet never met. It was a happy time and a sad time for me. Happy because I discovered that our extended family were wonderful people. Sad because I in a way, mourned what I had missed. They sang together and travelled together and encouraged each other and I was jealous that they had done it all, without Me.

As a child, I watched families around me and knew their lives were vastly different from mine. And then, I did the same thing to my parents and moved far away. Then, we did the same to the Staley children and raised them up far from family. I grew up partly in my youth, but mostly in my adulthood. Growing up is hard. It was hard for me and hard for my children, but alas, we have only two choices. To grow up Or Not. Often, hard things are worth it, the effort of doing them and I will admit to you that even though growing up as an adult is hard, it’s worth the struggle. My Way is committed to God and even though I quite often don’t understand the Why of His directing, I know that He planned the plan before time began and will work out His purpose for His Glory And for my (our) good. His plan is always the best one. We were without family, but God taught us to trust Him. We did.

So, we were alone. First, the House Five and then the Staley Five. In the 38 years that Rob and I have been married, we have always had to get on a plane in order to visit family. We’ve done it a lot and thankfully God worked it out. He provided friends for us here who have been family to us and our children know what empathy is and how others feel if they are alone. Our children have friends and they have each other and that is good. We may not always choose to lean in on God, but we sure do know we should and we need to.

The House Five had each other and That was good. We celebrated together and cried together and spoke kindly to each other and learned from each other. You hear me speak of my sister, but not often of my brother. He is a good and kind man. He has a wife and two grown children and three grandchildren and he is good to his neighbors and says hello to people on the street. He is a true volunteer and could give lessons on how to do it, but he wouldn’t of course. He just does what needs to be done and organizes people to work at church and he knows his way around a sound system and most of all he and Robin notice people. They are the ones who see new people at church and invite them out for lunch. They don’t go home and say “did you see those new people? We really should have spoken to them. We really should have introduced ourselves.” No way. They DO it. He is just shy of six years older than I am and he was a teacher before he retired. His name is Rod and since just before Nano went to be with Jesus, He and Robin and Jan and Michael have lived in Calgary and now they are together and I am not, there. I wish I was nearer. Maybe even a short car ride away would be nice. But I am not.

Life has not been easy for Rod. I know, I know! Life is not easy for anybody. For some people it’s harder. When he was very young, five or six, he contracted polio. It was in the fifties and polio was all around. The doctor told mom and dad that he might die, but he would surely never recover. Our prayer warrior father had a prayer meeting beside my brother’s hospital bed and you may not believe in miracles, but the next day, the doctor came to talk to mom and dad and told them he could not explain it, but there was no sign of polio in Rod’s body. As usual, dear dad used that opportunity to explain God’s power and kindness. He told that doctor how it is that regardless of what people may consider possible, God is the God of the impossible. Rod was the guy who broke legs and arms when he was young. He worked hard in school and was the shy one of the clan. He didn’t need a lot of friends and liked to stick close to home. He played hockey and gym sports and when he was a teacher, he tried his best. Rod suffered from migraine headaches as an adult. The debilitating kind. Not long after he retired, Rod suffered a stroke. That’s a story for another time, but I will tell you that it happened when he went to the bank with Robin. Jan, Nano and I were waiting for them in the car. It was a sad thing and a hard thing but God brought him through and he has lived full and well and plays a mean game of tennis and rides his bike and Lives. A few months ago Rod learned that he had cancer. He has gone through the treatments and today, Today was surgery day. I am far away and waiting to hear. It is a big surgery and it won’t be easy after. My brother is a walking miracle already and God has decided that this man should be a witness to God’s power and faithfulness. God has decided that Rod and Robin would be the ones who would receive an extra measure of grace, because He was going to ask much of them. I’m here and they are so far away and not just that. COVID! If not for COVID I would be there right now. This brother is alone and he hasn’t been alone many hours since the day he and Robin were married. They are together in every way, except for today. Our mother is gone but she taught us to care and to stand by and to help and to sacrifice our time and energy for the sake of someone else. She showed us how to live well when your heart is broken and your body is feeble. She lived for sharing and we learned it from her.

So, my brother is a helper, I try to help and then there is our sister. She is most like our mother and does what she believes our mother would do. She does it well. Now Jan would tell you that she does not have the gift of mercy. I agree. You would not accuse her of being warm and fuzzy, but she is kind. She helps and does not turn her back on a need. She is strong and we have talked, she and I, about choosing strength. The strength we choose might not look like strength to some people, but it is strength just the same. It requires a choice to be all that God asks us to be, for as long as we can. Life is short and God has given us many, many character building opportunities. Well,

I can tell you that My sister’s strength has surged in these recent months. She has taken it upon herself to be the House matriarch. She has lived hard, caring for her own family and dealing with sadness on numerous fronts, while determining to be whatever our brother needs his sister to be. She has baked and driven and cooked and carried and picked and prayed and knitted and loved and she has done it in a most exemplary and spectacular way. I have wished, these past months that I could participate in the joy and struggle of Doing, for this family of mine. God has said, “Not this Time” and I haven’t liked it one bit.

We have been a family, far apart and yet, the ties are strong. God led us all in different directions and gifted us with unity of heart. We are all Jesus lovers and followers and that has pulled us tight. We are different in huge, wide cavernous ways and we are family. I want God to heal this brother and make him whole again. I want God to do more good things for this family and the older we get and the more members that are added, the more we need to depend upon God and His wise counsel and wisdom. How Then shall We Live? We shall live bowed down in submission to Him, because we trust Him with our lives. He is the author and the finisher and He will do what He knows to be best.

That’s a relief

Teach your children to share. Teach them to give when they don’t feel like it and to help when help is needed. We are broken people and God is whole and living and teaching us still. He is never ever not in control. He is always full of power and does not relinquish His hold on what is His and that is Everything. Don’t be fooled by all that you hear. God is very much alive and no matter the condition of the world and the unGodly attitudes everywhere, He is working out His perfectly designed plan.

Thankful!