Here I am again.

It’s a beautiful day and while Nano sleeps I’m sitting,

writing.

She, encompassed by pain, is happy to see me.  Sickness has been her very constant companion in recent weeks and it is not exaggerating or premature to say she is old.  Her body is “wearing out” as one doctor said.  She is worn out.  She sleeps long and often. Her body functions are sluggish at best and life is hard.   Her walker stands close and there is no pride in her when she pushes it down the hall.  She walks to the breakfast room for her piece of whole wheat toast and raspberry jam and barely makes it back before crumpling onto her bed for rest.

Her meals are quite nice looking and I wonder if the cooks here  know how grateful we are for a sprig of parsley.   That simple stem of green makes a plate full of food more appetizing to a 93 year old preacher’s wife with no appetite.

There is a small dining room  where residents may take their guests.   You get special attention there and it’s next to the big dining room.  Today, Nano and I ate two meals together in that little dining room.  Sometimes people walk through the small dining room on their way ‘home’.  Nano and I were chatting about how delicious our meal had been when a little lady passed by.  She was stooped and fragile looking and she smiled.  We smiled back and said “Hello”.  She replied and a conversation began.  English was not her first language and she knew very few words until she arrived here, from South Africa four years ago and we listened closely.    Her children live here as do her grandchildren and the time was right.  She likes it here and anyway, she knows she can never go back.  Her furniture is gone and all of her things and here she is and I saw tears in her eyes and then there were tears in mine.  Her name is Anna and she is dear.

Then

Nano said

“well, when we have nothing else it’s wonderful to know that we have JESUS.  He loves us very much.

Anna replied, “oh yes, what would we do without Jesus.  I sometimes wonder what I would do without Him”.

And then I was reaching for my kleenex and I thought about how true it is.  Life is hard, especially for these dear ones who are way way past their prime and they are sick and tired and want to be well and know they won’t be, ever again and still, they are glad to be alive in this “Dear Old World”.

It has been suggested that the kitchen staff might cut Nano’s meat before presenting it at her table so she can eat it without struggle.  Her reply, as she krinkles her nose

Oh I don’t know if I want that.  My plate will look messy

And she eats such a few bites of, fish or beef or chicken, that what does it really matter if her plate is messy.   I tell you it surely does matter.  As does the look of her beautiful, never coloured other than what God has given her naturally, silver hair.  It should have received a perm a month ago but a three week stay at the hospital around the corner quashed that plan and today is good because tomorrow is perm day.  It might not ‘take’ well but it will look better.

Her gnarled hands lie in her lap and there is not a moment free from pain and the knitting needles , well used, are packed away.

Never a gal to whine or complain, she was the mother who said when things were going awry, life was throwing a curve, the twisting path became too much,

“oh, you’ll be fine.  It could be worse” and it made me frown and complain (still does) when her support came in the form of correction, admonition, sometimes sounding kind and other times sounding reproachful.

and

I am who I am because of who she is.  I learned to be strong as I watched her and although the strength she exuded was quiet and yes, even submissive, oh it was there.   Her strength was in serving, family and strangers.  She was strong when she modeled mercy, she was strong when she traveled to the other side of the country to visit her ailing parents, with a few dollars in her wallet and not many more left in the bank and she did it because it was good and right and honouring.   I was small and I watched and learned.

We, my sister, my brother and me and let’s not forget the ones who love us, our spouses who have traveled hard with their own parents and are standing close and supporting and we are all working together.

model mercy even though it might not be our gift 

and we love and we care and of course we are obligated and we do it because it is good and right and honouring and not always easy.  We give up other fun and we do it because

God loved us first and this mother loved us next and we love her back and our purpose is to listen and honour.  We watched our parents do it and even though our parents frustrated us and we live life differently than they did and would,

We learned.  They taught us the things that God says are important and one of those things is to honour our parents.

I am here now, for one week and one of these days, “see you later” will turn into “Good Bye for now” and until then we keep encouraging and helping and watching and loving and we leave the rest and the time in the hands of

He who made time and numbered our days

here.  He is to be trusted because His Love is

Greater Than