Tag Archives: family

Walking Humbly

life, , ,

Hey friends,

It’s been a while. How are you faring? Me, oh thanks for asking. You might question my answer, but truthfully, I am not just well, I am fully living. I mean, it’s been quite the couple of years eh? Yes, spoken like a true Canadian. I’ve wanted to gather you all and sit you down and have a good old chin wag since the beginning of all of this, well this scary uncertainty. Wouldn’t that be something? Maybe too much of something. Perhaps it would be something not so good. I don’t know, since I got rid of my crystal ball back when I realized it really did me no good whatsoever.

I’ve been quiet of late. Well quiet for me. Even quiet me makes a fair bit of noise and you know that I am not particularly interested in privacy. I figure, if the World is going to spin out of control and my life is going to whirl like a dervish on the edge of a precipice, then you have to come along. I suppose that’s the type A in me. The, hey people, life is nuts and here’s the variety of nuts I’m seeing. However, the quiet has been partially solemn and maybe even introspective.

So let’s jump right in and do some sharing. Or better still, I’ll share and you can listen. That’s my favourite. I’ll keep it concise and fairly gracious and we’ll see how we get on. As I mentioned above, it’s been. A. Year. It’s actually been. Two. Years. Or in my case, it’s been. Sixty two. Years. (And almost sixty three)

I have lived bigger than life for most of the years and I’m not bragging, believe you me. Living, loving, learning, doing the what if thing and sinking into the if only, attitude way too often. Through all of it, the biggest learning and the hardest lesson has been the Walking Humbly part. I don’t really care for the Do Justice part either. The problem is that what I think is Just and what you think is Just are more often than not, two very different Justice(sss). If I’ve told you once, I’m sure I’ve told you a whole lot more often, that if They would let me be in charge of the World, things would be oh so different. But They haven’t done it yet. They haven’t asked. We could talk about loving kindness too. Oh I can be kind, when I want to be. But I am learning the blessing of being interested in Loving kindness. It’s like an awakening happening. A sleeping giant if you will.

So, start with a dash of justice, a sprinkle of kindness and saturate it in humility and boys and girls, you have something that will blow your mind. It’s all a great big challenge and the falling down and clawing back up, is hard and it hurts, a lot. I am going to tell you though, that I am so thankful, Beyond grateful, Immeasurably humbled, that God is journeying, walking, evenly and steadily while I do my crazy whirling and spinning thing.

Thus ends the sermon, for now.

We are all grappling with what to think about the pandemic of 2020/21/22. We have opinions and frustrations and we know that talking politics amongst friends and acquaintances is just not the best idea. So I’m not going to do it. Except for this teeny tiny wee itty bitty thing. Let’s remember what God told Paul to tell us. As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Jesus loved and spoke truth about His Father and told us to be a sweet aroma. No matter how terrible things might be, we are to behave like Him. Oh yes and remember, They killed Him, bad. Peter said he would NEVER let happen what Jesus said would happen and he would kill them all dead and Jesus likened him to Satan. Don’t tell God what’s going to happen.

That’s it. Except for this part. I like sweet aromas. My birth flower is the sweet pea and it’s just one of my favourite scents. Oh and one more thing and that will be it, I promise. No really. I promise. Pioneer Girls honour. God does not need us to defend Him or the Plan. None of this, not one bit of it, is a surprise to Him. Nor can His plan be thwarted. (I learned that word, thwarted, in Sunday School. I’m pretty sure). He planned all of this because He knew we needed the saviour. We did, we do and we always will. I’m awfully thankful that He isn’t going to let the bad things and the evil people (of which I am chief) win. YAY! God always wins.

Moving along now, you might be interested in how my 2021 unfolded. No? Well sit down and listen because you are going to hear about it.

My father in law died. He died/passed away/left the World. You can say it however you like, but he’s gone. It happened, finally, five days ago and his son and I reminded each other that it is very sad, but not for Gerry Staley. No Sirree. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have actually prayed in recent months that God would take him. You see, I could pray that without guilt, because I know that where God would take him is just a way better place to be than here.

He is with Jesus and there’s nothing better than walking with Jesus, actually WITH Him. I’m not joking around. It’s real. The faith he had and that we have, is real. Absent from the body is present with the Lord. Amen and Hallelujah. The fall of 2020 Gerry had two knee surgeries, one after the other, In a matter of a couple of months. He was already not well, but consistently insisted he was fine. He never recovered. While he was attempting to convince his body that he was going to get better, his wife of more than sixty years had to be enrolled in a special place that is safe for people who have dementia. That’s a whole lot of sad and broken. What unfolded and unraveled over the course of 2021, was difficult and painful. We watched our father and father in law and grandfather, become a mere shadow of himself and at the age of eighty seven and a half, God freed him and took him home. When Nano 2 went to be with Jesus, the family agreed that we would never ever wish her back. We would miss her. We loved her beyond measure. But her life had been lived and how could we want her to stay here when the alternative was to go, There? That’s how we feel about Grandpa Gerry. We mourn his loss, but would not dare to wish him back.

In the past thirteen months I have travelled to Vancouver no less than six times. I have helped to pack and sort and discard and encourage and wash and carry and cry and laugh and empty and fold and listen, more times than I would have thought possible had you told me it was going to happen. I was part of the transitions and the upheaval and the sickness. On each visit I listened to Gerry talk about how he was getting better. Then as the year wore on he would tell us that he was going to get better and then more recently, he hoped he would get better. Three weeks ago he called me. He was in the hospital and he told me how disappointed he was that he was not healing like he had hoped. It was hard.

I will tell you though, that these months have been rewarding. I have seen the results of a bit of kindness and known abundant peace in yearning after a walk that was humble. I have given physically and emotionally and have reaped the benefits of offering my life to be used for the good of others and for the Glory of God. None of this, not one moment, not one sleepless night, not one antigen test, none of it can be credited to me. This time, these months, in semi quietness, God has taken the meagre offerings I laid before Him and turned them into gifts. In all that has unfolded with Rob and my children and my grandchildren, the frustrations, the heartache and uncertainty, God has reminded me of His steadfastness. He is the faithful one and for some reason He chose me to be the vessel through which He would care for others. I am the blessed one.

Yes, this is a religious one. If religious means that I will share what God has done in me, for me, then yep. I am religious.

Oh and why in the World did I share that photo of clouds with a mountain poking through? I’ll tell you right now. Because I never stop being amazed at the World God made. Every time I fly into Vancouver, I watch to see how Mt. Baker will show up. Just before landing in Vancouver yesterday, we passed by and there she was, just as majestic as ever. God made it and He made the clouds and all of it causes me to pause. Thought I would share it with you. Lots these days to consider and pause over.

Take a Seat! Let’s talk about Faithful!

life, , ,

There was this farewell.
Nine months ago we had one for our own mother and this one was for my sister’s mother in law.

Baba went to Heaven last week and yesterday there was a big
“deal” a “do”
in her honour. It was a send off and people came from far and wide. There was talking and praying and quite a lot of singing. Well, some would call it singing and many would call it
praising. God! Praising God. Worshiping!

Light of the World you stepped down into darkness opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore you
Hope of a life spent with you.

There was also a lot of smiling and hugging and

Moments. You know, Special ones!

My sister asked if I would please take some pictures during the service and afterwards. How’s that for pressure? I sat by myself, close to the front on the aisle and had my phone/camera at the ready. There were quite a number of older folks there and my phone cover is
bright pink. Never one to be terribly self conscious, I just minded my own business and attempted to be discreet. I got a few good ones and hardly needed to use the kleenex in my other hand at all.

These five! Family
These five! Family

Baba's very precious ones
Baba’s very precious ones

IMG_7975

could two siblings look more alike I wonder?
could two siblings look more alike I wonder?  A beautiful tribute to their mother.

For the love of puzzles
For the love of puzzles

This is amazing grace this is unfailing love
That you would take my place that you would bear my cross
You laid down your life that I would be set free
Oh Jesus I sing for all that you’ve done for me
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Worthy is the King who conquered the grave
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Worthy Worthy Worthy

I used to cry a lot

There were two times I vividly remember when people shared profound notions with me
“You don’t HAVE to cry, you know”
and
“sometimes I sort of feel like crying, but it just takes so much effort. I can’t be bothered”

Say what?
I’m a House and we cry. Way back, we’ve been a family of cryers.

and those tips were sort of life altering for me. Oh I still cry more than some but not quite so often.

Anyway
The sun was beating down and the sky was blue and there we were in the cool church out in the country
praising God and saying a final farewell, to Baba. As it turns out, she was quite a character and even from the platform there were stories of time spent with her and how,
laughing was the theme of most gatherings when she was present.
Quite a legacy, that.

Her son and daughter gave tributes and talked about her last days. I could nod my head when they told how she continually praised Jesus in those last times.
I had the privilege of sitting next to her just before the end and every touch of my hand to hers, each kiss to her brow and sip of water to her lips brought whispers of
“Praise Jesus”
“Thank you Jesus”.

Baba hadn’t always praised Jesus. I told you a bit about that in Lives knit together. Praising didn’t begin until she was a mother and a grandmother and she sure made up for lost time. It’s never too late. Until the final breath. Then it’s too late.

When darkness seems to hide His face I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale my anchor holds within the veil
Christ alone Cornerstone, weak made strong in the Saviour’s Love
Through the storm He is Lord, lord of all.

Just at the end, before we went to eat triangle sandwiches, pickles, squares,  to drink punch and talk about Baba and how we all loved her,  Just before we took ourselves back to the real World to live our lives

Great is thy Faithfulness O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest
Sun moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness Mercy and love
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside

And
just disregard what I said before, earlier, about managing my crying issues. God’s Faithfulness? Now That is something so moving, so amazing, even the most stalwart non cryers, weep openly. Sing it and weep. Think about it and weep. Tears of joy and thankfulness.

Before Baba went to Heaven, she and her little ones were chatting about the end and she had very clear ideas about what the celebration should look like.
She said
“wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone would come to know Jesus at my funeral?”
Yes Baba, yes it would. The family stopped just shy of an alter call at the service and it was clear
that Baba was gone from here and had been welcomed into her new and forever home, by Jesus himself.

Now
I am well aware of God’s faithfulness. Even during the sad and bad and hard and horrible He’s been awfully good and I know it. So while we sang

Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by Morning new mercies i see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me

I was not even thinking about Baba. I was thinking about Him. Baba had hoped that someone might realize for the first time, that God is faithful and Jesus loves, all.
Maybe someone did, realize that.
I don’t know.
Here’s what I do know.
For me and I wouldn’t be surprised at all to hear, for my fellow celebrants
there was a whole lot of praising going on.
Praising Jesus for
well just praising Him because
because He
Is.
Praising Jesus because of what He’s done, for me.

Baba is gone and her dear ones are missing her already. They would not for one minute wish her back. Her life was full and rich and their lives were richer because of her. She is gone from here but they and I will see her again. We’ll see her when we go to see Jesus.

There’s going to be more of these, farewells.  I hope they are all as full of praise and celebration as this one was.

God is good and He is faithful and we can either believe it or not believe it.  There’s a choice to be had.

Believe it!

Sunday night Traditions

life, , , ,

Memories make for fascinating conversation.  You likely have some great ones.

Maybe you have some sad, unspoken, even regrettable

ones.

It’s ok

I do too

Have good ones and sad, unspoken, even regrettable

ones.  They all get mixed up together.  Good and not so good.  God can take all of the mixed up good and bad and do remarkable, even miraculous things with it.

It’s Sunday evening.  Not late really, but

dark.

I made us, him and me, just two of us

muffins and fruit salad.  Not just any muffins.  This is a recipe from the past.

Thirty two years ago just about right now, we, the two of us, were new together.  Far from home.  That was before my heart adjusted to this place.  Before I could think of calling this new land HOME.  It was just beginning to turn cold and we lived in a dark place, in our hearts and in a little basement that was dark most of the time and he was learning how to do what he does so well and I was

well, I was learning to be grown and joy filled and God was showing me what it meant to Bloom Where I was Planted.  I wanted Him to plant me back, where He had transPlanted me From.  He said

No.

He took years to patiently show me, where He chose was better.  Oh I have stomped my feet and that is certain.   Back then, at the beginning of the learning to be a wife and then a mother, I decided to attempt some traditions,

Some “we always” for us.

I look back now and wonder at the miracle of trying and succeeding and failing and trying again and some ideas didn’t work and others stuck.

One of those ideas was for a Sunday evening refreshment, informal lunch.

You see, where I came from,

not geographically but historically,  my upbringing, my original family, we did things in a different way.

Well, maybe not different from how you did it but different from how it’s done now.  Our family, the preacher’s family, went to Sunday School and then worship service and then we came home to our Sunday meal.  For a few years we lived in that little community surrounded by farmer’s fields.  We walked to church and walked home and my brother was sort of shy.  He was a middle schooler then and he would walk home first.  When we finally got back to that little house because some of us have not changed much and even then we liked to stay until there was nobody else to talk to, until everybody else had gone home to their own Sunday meal,

he, that brother, had the potatoes boiling on the stove.   The roast beef or roast chicken that our mother had put into the oven before we walked to church that morning, would be ready to pull out of the oven.  We ate, we cleaned up, we rested, one of us wrote letters to her loved ones living a whole country away.  We had a light snack and then went back to church for evening service.  Sometimes there was a Fellowship time after but if not, we would come home and eat toast and drink tea and go to bed.

That was Sunday.  It was good.  It was simple.  It was quiet.  It was love.

We don’t do it that way anymore but back 32 years ago,  at our beginning, we still had our meal at lunch time.  Sometimes we went to Swiss Chalet, when we could afford it and sometimes we would come home to the roast I had managed to get into the oven early.  In the evening we had a snack.  Something light.  It was sometimes muffins, sometimes biscuits(scones but in the 80’s they were more often called biscuits)sometimes grilled cheese and most often with fruit salad.  As we welcomed little ones and they joined in our tradition of a big lunch and small dinner, we continued.  One of my husband’s very favorites and one he asked for regularly over the years, was this one I am sharing with you tonight.  They didn’t really have a name.  They were just The Good muffins.

I am calling them Muffin Scones and I made them tonight along with a fruit salad.  They are still a hit and I was told that if I made them again, they would be well received.  I wonder if my little ones would still like them.  I think I will check one of these days when they come back,

come home.

The senses were created for us, by Him,

God,

for our pleasure.

So kind of Him.  Really.

Memories are brought back from the archives of the past, to here and now

when I smell, or taste, or see, or hear.

When it happens I am thankful.  Even the ones that cause one more crack in my heart, I know they have been

pebbles, boulders maybe, on the journey God chose for me.

As I often do, I am listening now to

music.

Right this minute I am hearing Steven Curtis Chapman sing about loss and heartbreak and he is wondering as he sings, about God and His choices.

He says We don’t understand God’s higher ways

And I agree but wonder if the hardships from my past and within my memory are God’s higher ways or my foolish ones.

Whichever

He is so good to redeem my foolishness and make it into something  beautiful.

Steven is also saying that Without this hope in Jesus there’s no way we could survive.

I know people who say those words through tears gliding down their faces.  Those who have

lost

children or jobs or husbands or friends.

Just this week I said to someone that the thing about sad and hard is that mine might look not so bad to you and yours might look not so bad to me.  We all know though,

that it is.

Whatever causes hurt or sad or weary or broken or desperate

hearts

knocks us over.  Can appear disastrous.

As much as we wish,

we cannot heal each other’s hearts.  I told this friend that it’s okay though.

God made and holds and heals and embraces

hearts

Traditions are good as long as we hold them in open hands.  It’s okay to do it differently.  Things change and even so, to try something from

Back then

can bring back good memories and good memories are a gift.  Dig deep.  Are you sad?  Are you full of Joy?  God has done great things.

God says that we don’t understand Him.  That’s because He is God.  We don’t need to know everything.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

roots, trees and clouds

life, ,

Losing nerve, doubting, fearing, wondering, are part of life.  

My life.

Yours Too?

It was after church today when I was racing through the foyer.  I stopped to say hi to a lady I have never spoken to.   Oh she isn’t new.  She’s been around for a long time.  “You always look so happy” she said to me.  I smiled, chatted for a minute or two.  Bless her heart.  She got me to thinking.  I am thankful that she sees Happy when I pass by.  What she doesn’t know is,  lots of times I am not happy.  She likely does know that.  I mean who’s happy “always”? This week was one of those for me.  Can’t explain it.  No good reason except that I had to remind myself a few times that life is good, God is gracious, blessing takes different forms on different days, but it’s there. Think about it.  Count the ways. 

I went to Deuteronomy 31:8

 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.  

That’s blessing if ever there has been.

It came to me again that I far too often ponder things I will never figure out.  I am thankful tonight that even in the hours when I have lost my nerve, He still goes before me.  It isn’t His way, to turn His back when the cloud rolls in. Strangely, that cloud settles sometimes when you would think there is just no good reason.    That’s life.  Can’t always be explained.  

This week was full of people for me.   I hide myself in people.  Laughter, sharing, praying even.  Oh and tables.  They go together, people and tables.  These past few days have been filled with both.  Different sizes and shapes.  Even as I felt my nerve slipping away, the doubt settling in, I found myself sitting across the table from people.  All friends.  Some have been that for a very long time and some for not so long.  Several of those ‘around the table’ times turned into three hour visits.  Nano has been known to say that once you get people sitting at the table you should not disrupt what’s been created, conversation, community, by suggesting “we should go and sit on more comfortable chairs.  Let’s move to the living/sitting/family room.”  No way.  Once at the table, stay there.  When you’re looking for dining room or even kitchen furniture give much attention to the chairs you will sit on around the table.  Sit, eat, visit, laugh, cry, share life and stay put.  Relax and be comfortable but don’t think it would be better if you sat on a different chair.  Hospitality around a table cannot be recreated if it is interrupted.  I promise.  Even when my little ones were very little we most often sat around the table.  It’s the same even now.  

Sometimes I ignore for a minute what I know is true. People can’t fill the empty place in my heart that was created for God.  

As my nerve ebbed away this week I found myself searching.  When darkness seems to fill the place where joy should be I remember whose I am.  You see, He is my light.  He is my salvation.  I don’t need to be afraid.

You don’t either.  

Everything seems pretty big sometimes.  You too?  Believe me, God knows.  He made an empty spot in my heart that nothing can fill.  Except Him.  I don’t ever really forget that.  I do let stuff get bigger and more important though.  When my heart starts to get tight and a bit cold, troubled, it’s usually because I haven’t spent much time with the friend who knows me best.  Tonight is almost over and tomorrow is coming in a few hours.  When I wake up and before my feet hit the floor I will invite Him to join me.  God is like that.  He doesn’t force His way into my day.  He lets me come around to inviting Him.

 The cloud I watched darken overhead last week has all but disappeared and although it is often on the horizon, I know it doesn’t need to block out the sun.   Joy is a choice I need to make.   God will do great things  In my life and quite possibly in the lives of people I will sit across the table from.  That’s pretty exciting.  

One of my table experiences last week was with a cousin I have not spent much time with.  Three hours came and went and we visited and chatted and there were even a few moments of glistening eyes.  Her mom left this earth a year ago.  She is missed.  This mom was my mom’s sister and they shared the grandma name of Nano, just like their mother had.  This cousin and I have a few things in common besides Nano.  There is a strong family resemblance.  We look different but we also look similar.  She has a sister who lives far away just as I do.  We will meet again and will share more.  We are relatives,  a great way to begin a friendship.  

To the East and on the very edge of this country of ours, is another family I hardly know.    Miles have kept us apart. We have missed gathering together and sharing life but we are family.  One of them left this earth yesterday.  She was not old but has lived life differently, confined to a wheelchair since she was a child, loved and cared for by her dear ones.  She was blessed and full of praise.  She knew that one day she would be whole and able to dance.  That day has come and although her precious ones will miss her they look forward to dancing with her, later.

 Yes, this week has been full.  Of friends and tables and remembering and thanking and as I go to sleep now, worshipping.  The clouds will hover but they will not cover the beauty of their creator.

 I am my beloved’s and He is mine.  His banner over me is love.

 

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