“You just don’t know”, she said to me quietly. “mmhhm”, I said back.

It’s July and nine months since I sat next to someone waiting,
to Die.
Nine months. The amount of time it takes for a human to be formed according to God’s plan, within her mother’s womb. Dying can happen so much faster. Well, we know that from the time we are born, we are dying but that doesn’t count. Living a life and then leaving here, the World, can take years or seconds.

I want to tell you about my friend Helen. I call her Baba and that’s what her grandchildren call her. I get to call her that too because, well, I just do. She is the grandmother of my nieces and nephew who are the children of Baba’s son and his wife, my sister. They can’t visit like they wish they could. They can’t pop in to chat and share a laugh like they would if they lived close. Oh they come when they can. Her boy has been coming lots, recently. He wants to be here and is when he can.
They live far and I don’t, live far, so I take myself to visit every now and then. Lately it’s been a bit more since she needs some extra TLC. Her daughter lives across the street bless her heart and of course she loves her mother, so has worn a path between them the last few months. The daughter has done what she can, like one does when one loves their mother and wants to
End well.
Ending happens whether we like it, want it, face it, or not.
Ending is hard and I’m pretty sure none of us like it.
We know the now, whether it’s good or bad. The end is scary,
hard.

Some of us are confident about After the End. I am, confident. Nano was, confident. Even so, she wasn’t anxious to do the End part. Baba is confident and it’s still hard, the End.
It would be so much nicer and more pleasant if we could skip the End and just jump from the now to the
Then.
Can’t!

So
we attempt to embrace it and ride the waves with the ones we love, who find themselves facing it, the End.

“You just don’t know”, she said to me quietly. “mmhhm”, I said back. I waited just a second for her to finish her thought.
Now, I have a terrible tendency to finish people’s sentences. I’m not sure if it’s because I like to guess what they are about to say, or if I’m not patient enough to wait, or if I think they need help to finish the thought, but I have been told and often, that it’s a habit I have and not a good one.
At these times though, the ones where I’m waiting on the person in the chair. The one who is wrapped in a blanket and struggling to speak, I sit, wait, Patiently even.

So after Baba said the part about not knowing, I waited and not for long before she went on.

“will it be tonight, or tomorrow or when?”

I answered back like this.
“Well Baba, that’s the thing. None of us knows. Only God knows. It could be an hour from now, for any of us.
But,
isn’t it wonderful that we don’t need to worry about the time? Isn’t it great that God knows and He knew when He made us, just how long we would live?
AND
isn’t it wonderful that He is making a place for us, right now?
AND
you get to go there So Soon. Oh Baba, I am happy for you, Thrilled that you are soon going to see your new home and see people who have gone before you. This is So Good. And Jesus will be there. Goodness Gracious, Jesus Himself.

“God is so good”, she said, with tears in her eyes and a shake in her voice. “He sure is”, I said back.

“There’s a song that says that, God is So Good”, she said. “Yes there is”, I said back.

I waited, patiently.

“Show me your knitting”, she said. “I sure will”, I said back.
I pulled it out and she smiled and told me how proud she was of me.

Then she picked up the wool and started to roll it.  I asked if she would like to roll it into a ball for me and she said she would.

Two weeks ago I went to visit and was just starting a knitting project. I hadn’t held knitting needles for a very long time and couldn’t quite remember how to start. Well I went over to her chair and sat next to it and her. I gave her the needles and the wool and asked if she would show me how. With a face that was as happy as the face of a 91 year old who is in her last days could be, she commenced to show me how to knit. It was hard for her and her fingers didn’t quite do what her brain told them to do and that was okay. We worked on it together and we were happy doing it, with pills on the counter behind us and a walker by the door and those big heavy bandages on her legs and

death lurking near.

It’s quite a story, Baba’s. She lived in a house until recently, where she had lived for, well not for Ever, but for a very long time. It has a huge yard full of gardens and until last year she was still traipsing around out there checking her flowers and looking at the spot where she used to plant her vegetables. She is one of many. I can’t remember if there were seven or eight of them but she had a lot of siblings and the more isn’t always the merrier. It can be hard too.

We, the House family, came on the scene at a time when her boy was in his twenties and he was reintroduced to my sister. The initial introduction happened when they were children and we attended a little church and someone brought him to church. So anyway, the reintroduction happened way over in Vancouver and that was some adventure. I was a scrawny teenager at the time and my sister was a reluctant recipient of his attention. As a matter of fact, there was even a time when he wanted to come over and we had two donuts (I have no idea why we would have donuts since we never had donuts.) and we, my sister and I ate those two donuts right in front of him without so much as a “oh hi would you like a piece of donut because we would be happy to cut them in half and share with you”.
No and he still came back. You see, God chose him for her and God chose her for him and it was only a matter of time before
they recognized each other and that was that.
Except and this is where Baba comes in,
his family was not keen on his choice. It took a while but once they realized the treasure their boy had brought to their doorstep, there was no turning back.  It wasn’t long before most of that family learned about Jesus and His life changing sacrifice for them.  Their lives were changed by Him and He used a little preacher’s girl to help with the introductions.  She and her God chosen husband were a witness to God’s great wisdom and kindness.  They loved and God turned that love into understanding in the hearts of many loved ones.

“God is so Good” and her Bible sat next to her and a couple of other devotional books.

My only response of course, was “He sure is Baba”.

And then

“Just think how God brought Jan into our Family. We had no idea about the truth and God did that for us. He brought her right into our family” and then she wept. “He did that for us” and then I was reaching for a kleenex and

she said “God is so Good” and I couldn’t really say much.

And this week we were sitting there and every day is different now and I was showing her my knitting and she was happy watching me from under the blanket she had knit a long time ago and I was happy sitting next to her with my knitting needles clicking.

and then

“To think that God introduced us to your family”

“Yes Baba” I said back

And she said “and we had such a negative attitude to Christians” and then she wept
and I reached over and held her hand and I said
“Isn’t God so very good Baba?” and she quietly answered back, “He sure is. Praise the Lord”

And we sat together and she was tired and then there was a knock on the door and in walked the doctor, of all people and then I was in that hospital room nine months ago when a doctor young like this one had walked into the room and they both, the young doctor last fall and the young doctor this week started talking
Palliative.
For the second time in nine months I was sitting in on a palliative conversation and I could not help but think
about God. I often think of God but when things take a turn for the bizarre, my mind runs to Him. There is no such thing as chance and coincidence with God. He knew I would be there and He knew it was okay that I was going to be there. More than okay. Me there beside Baba, was where He wanted me right then. Her daughter walked in and I listened as they had
The Talk. You know the one.
The End, Talk.
I tried to stay out of it but you know me. I did pipe up every so often, with my thoughts on the matter and it was a sad thing to
watch Baba listen.

Earlier, before the doctor visit, I talked to Baba and reminded her that Death is not good because God created us to Live. It is because of Sin in the World that death lurks around.

I said
“you know Baba,God is bigger and stronger than death. It is a nasty thing but keep your eyes on the After part. He is waiting with arms open, to welcome you. Rest. Lean in on Him. He will get you through this End part so you can start on the
After.”

“Praise the Lord”, She said.

“Praise the Lord”, I answered Back.

Of course it’s just a silly word picture but I thought, as I was knitting and Baba was rolling the wool and trying to hold the needles, about how our lives are not independent of other people.  I thought about how careful we need to be when God nudges us to do kind deeds that might not be our first choice for a sunny summer afternoon or a frosty winter morning.  I thought about the joy that comes from the darkest corners and the heartaches that are turned into beauty.  I thought about how there are So.  Many.  Times when I/we are tempted to avoid the mess and black all around and

what a shame it is.

 

You see, God knits us together in our mother’s womb.  He tells us that in His word.  Also though,

He knits us together, one person to another, from the most unexpected and even unusual places.

 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.