In the late afternoon yesterday, it was quiet here at the cottage. The children big and small, were gone and I took my coffee, buttered banana bread, cheese and two books to the red chair on the dock. The lake was quiet and I sat. The books stayed closed and I looked out at the water, still. It seemed that everybody had gone from all around and it was just me, sitting. From far away I could hear the rumbling and looking west, the sky was black. My weather app told me there was a severe storm warning and I kept sitting and watching it come closer.

Until I was in my early twenties, thunder storms scared me. Alot. I’m glad I’ve been freed from that fear, because watching a storm roll in and out is an infrequent pleasure now, in my mid life. (soon I will add ‘late’ before the mid) I slowly gathered my belongings and began the climb back to the cottage, preparing for a lightening show. It didn’t happen. There was some noise, a bit of deeper, stronger thunder, before the sun shone through the clouds, before the sun set. I was disappointed for a minute and then carried on.

The pile of pillowcases needing to be ironed, has been growing and I have been waiting for an opportunity to work on them. Since the Staley three were little, I have done most of my ironing sitting in front of a movie. At a time when ironing is a thing of bygones, I have given myself permission to tackle the ironing while relaxing. My favourite bedding these days is the Costco Kirkland brand. It is smooth and comfortable and although it isn’t ridiculously expensive, you might be fooled when crawling into bed. Now, I don’t iron my sheets, but I do iron the pillowcases when I get to them and last night I got to them and watched a movie while I did.

I hesitate to give reviews on movies, because everybody has differing ideas about what is worthwhile and what isn’t. My perimeters are as follows: Any movie I view must have some redeeming element. There are bad things happening all around me, but I refuse to spend two hours, willingly subjecting my heart and brain to a movie that will ultimately give me nightmares and leave me in a state of Dark, for hours and days. You can’t UNwatch something. The movie I chose last night might raise some eyebrows, but I watched it once before, years ago and have been wanting to watch it again, to see if it was as I remembered. This movie is sad, which I often don’t love and there are questionable parts, but the redemption is a beautiful thing. The mercy, grace and restoration, out of foolishness, pain and loss, broke my heart and gave me hope all at once. I love this movie and even recommend it. The Painted Veil is worth watching and I ordered it from Amazon because I could not find it anywhere else. Maybe you will watch it and if you do, let me know what you think.

The winds of change have been blowing, howling. The thing is, with wind, that it can change direction and the uprooting you expected, the destruction you anticipated, becomes a nonevent. Then there are the storms that bring wind and upheaval and the debris and aftermath is hard to make sense of. Hard to make right. So many different outcomes. People storms can be similar. I have lived through storms. I have caused storms and the remembering of those can add up to regret.

So here we are, in the middle of the biggest and most frightening storms of my lifetime. There is anger, sadness, pain, insecurity, sickness, unrest. How is it that even now, equality for and kindness toward every person that God made can not be counted on? Cannot be assumed? And how is it that after all of these thousands and thousands of years, we still feel that fighting and unrest, will solve our problems? Freedom to believe and to speak, are quickly being taken from us and we are getting closer to the time when, if we believe something other than what we are told we must believe, the consequences will be unspeakable. Couple these things with productivity, order, the reality of what makes the World actually function and we are left with chaos. God designed the World and the people in it. We have thrown away the “walk humbly with your God” part and I’m tempted to be scared. Satan is laughing his foolish head off and he thinks he has us where he wants us. Does he? Well, he may have US unfortunately, but we are nothing but clay, dust. God wins. It’s still His World and He wins. We may lose, but Him, Never.

Proverbs 27:1 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

The justice and the kindness are right. The “walk humbly with your God” part, is more right. In all of the kindness and all of the justice, if the walking humbly with your God, part is left out, we’ve missed the point. Everything, always, forever, Amen is about God and His Glory.

When I sat down to write today, the things I wanted to say, that I wanted to tell you, were blowing in and settling heavy. As I write, I ask God to take the words of my heart. I ask Him to keep the words unknown and to silence the sharing, if they are not beneficial and helpful.

Gracious, kind and all knowing God. We do not know you. We do not know your thoughts or your intentions aside from what you have told us. Forgive us for assuming. forgive us for evil. Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, honouring to your ways and helpful to the created. Have mercy upon us, because we are a mess and messy. Let us love you first, before our love of pleasure and comfort and wealth and accomplishment and peace and joy and beauty. Help us God, to see only you and your will. Then, Then, Then you can tell us and show us what comes next.

Here’s the good. Here’s the lovely and the redemption. We never stop learning, if we are willing. I am willing to become willing. I want to cover my eyes and ears at the remembrance of past hard, difficult, trouble. But the mercies, the new day, the learning that’s just out front, just over there, it’s a beauty. We are to stand, but we are not to fight. Take action and live fully. God fights for us and He is wiser and stronger and will win.

And the end of this post is actually what I intended from the start. I want to tell you what you already know. Life changes and evolves. The end has come, for Hillside BnB. It has been a lovely thing. It began as a solace for a difficult time. I prepared the beds and made the coffee and threw the door open, to strangers from far and wide. I welcomed them and shared a place of comfort and joy. God spoke to people who might not know of His Love, here, at Hillside. From the start I jumped in and knew a confidence that was not my own. It was for a time. The time is past. Some have asked if they would still be welcome here. The answer is Yes. For those who have been and gone or who haven’t been but so wanted to visit, let me know. The warmth and hospitality is still part of this place. As long as God allows me to live and breathe, sharing and listening and yes, even some talking, will define this spot on the bay.

Just before I leave you, I want to tell you about a book. It’s called New Morning Mercies. There are many, many, many, devotionals on the shelves these days. You can find whatever you want. I have quite a few of them on my own shelves and just as we all have different views on movies and philosophies and life in general, we also have different views on what is helpful in our daily growth. I happened upon Mr. Tripp by accident. His devotional sounded good and had great reviews, so I ordered it. I find it to be beautifully written. It sits on my nightstand and gets lots of use.

My friend, Marilyn, gave me a copy for Christmas and now I have one at the cottage too. I love it and highly recommend it.

Thanks for sitting with me today. May Blessing upon Blessing be yours as you turn your eyes to the one and only. The God of All Things. He is the only one who will ever conquer fear of the unknown and bring right from wrong.

Lovingly,

Pam