I’m cooking this week. There are some weeks when there isn’t a lot of food preparation going on. I’ve made a couple of good ones recently and here they are.
Pineapple Chicken #2 Stove Top Version
Ham Hock and Split Pea Chowder
They are both keepers. Give them a try!
“I love your blog”
and then something about Me being Kind.
I have spent not more than three hours with this person, my cousin, in the whole of my adult life. I know little about her other than
she is nice.
She lives far away and I have not ever lived near her.
When I last saw her
she was welcoming me into her mother’s home
An ambulance was on it’s way. The last ride her mother would ever take, was to a place she would never leave. This girl, the cousin of mine was, along with her precious sister, doing what loving daughters do when their mother is dying.
They were living and doing what needed to be done, when they wanted it to be different.
They smiled when the tears were close
they welcomed me into their pain. You get to know people when they are suffering. Defenses are down and putting on a brave face is not worth the effort.
I was a cousin, come in the place of another who would have been there, had she been able.
This dying woman was the sister of my mother.
They were both Nano, just as their mother before them had been. Just as this cousin is and hopefully I will be some day.
This woman, aunt of mine, sister of my mother, mother to these cousins, was not part of my life. My mother and her sister were different from each other. They had come from the same seed yet planted in different places. They chose lives that did not intersect and lived far from one another. My aunt
Marj
lived between my house and our cottage. Sometimes when I was driving by I would stop for a quick visit. Not a lot to talk about,
but blood runs deep. Family ties are real even when we don’t see them. When my mother came to visit, we would take a few hours and go to Aunt Marj’s house for lunch, to connect.
Oh how my mom loved her sister. Different people on different journeys and yet, sisters, bound by memories of
Then.
She got sick, this aunt.
And then we all knew her life would end sooner than she had hoped. That’s when the family ties began to tighten. My mom would call and ask me to please pop in for a visit. She so wanted to be there but of course, when you are 90 and live 2000 miles away, being there and helping is not possible.
So I did. Pop in. Not often. Not nearly often enough.
Three things I remember clearly about those last days and visiting that aunt of mine. Those things are these
Just a few weeks before she was whisked away by ambulance, I sat next to her on her couch. She looked at me and said
“tell your mom not to worry. I’m ok”. Well we knew of course, that she was not at all ok. I said the first thing that came to mind and that was this
“Aunt Marj, mom is at this point, less concerned about your body and very much concerned about your soul. She wants to see you again someday.”
“I know”, she said.
And that was that!
The next thing I remember was the day before the ambulance drove to that house.
I called and it was evening and she was weak and she was sick and I could hear it. She had not been eating and I asked her if there was anything at all I could bring for her to eat. Being who I am and in fact, my mother’s daughter, we think of food when we want to comfort someone. Food is good. Food bridges chasms. I have seen it happen.
And then, there it was, unexpected and
I was surprised.
“Raspberry Pie. I haven’t had Raspberry pie in such a long time and it would taste so good right now”.
And without a gap of a second, my reply
“I will have one there first thing tomorrow morning”
and I went to the store and bought raspberries and it wasn’t raspberry season but they were there, in plain view and I took them home and put them in the fridge and mixed up the pastry and got it ready and first thing in the morning I went to the kitchen and mixed up those berries and rolled out that pastry and put them together and baked them and took that pie and drove to that town,
north
and the pie was still warm and I knocked on the door
and those girls, those cousins I didn’t know, but for a few brief chats, opened the door and let me in and quietly told me the day had come
and she was leaving this house. The house she had lived in almost forever.
But first, we brought that offering and cut it into pieces and took it to the place where she was resting, on the couch and it smelled so good and we sat together and we ate
pie.
Someone was dying and those daughters felt like weeping and they were tired and I hardly knew them and we ate pie together. Their mother, my aunt, with help, ate maybe, I don’t know,
two bites and she loved it and that was all.
I went to see her in that place where people go before they die, where they are cared for lovingly and their families come and go whenever they wish and it’s quiet and there is laughter and people are sad and wish it was different and long for the past and just want it to be
over.
One of the times I went, I learned a bit more about that cousin. The people working in the place were all whispering and chatting and they told me that Marjorie’s daughter had made ham and scalloped potatoes and vegetables and had brought that feast and even though her mother was past the point of eating and was waiting and they were all waiting,
they had eaten and there was so much that it was too much and it was delicious
and who does that when her mother is dying? Makes a feast for people who can see the sadness all around and although they can do nothing about it, they do their job and they are kind.
Well that girl, woman, cousin of mine was, in the midst of her pain, aware of the needs of others and I thought about the selfless act of kindness and
I understood a bit better, who that girl, woman, cousin was and is.
She is kindred. She is blood and even though I don’t know when I will get to see her again,
I like her and I’m glad I’m related to her. I wonder, when I next find myself mourning the imminent loss of someone I love, will I be so gracious, so selfless, so
kind?
I went and I sat next to my aunt and she was quiet and she knew and I knew that the end was coming and one more time I said
“Auntie Marj, I must say this, while there is still time. My mom wishes she could be here with you and she would say it but she can’t so I will say it. We want you to go to be with Jesus and the only way for that to happen is if you recognize that sin has separated every one of us from Him. He loves you and died for you. He has paid the penalty for your sin and mine. He loves you. You are suffering and sick and He loves you.”
“Oh how we want to see you someday, when we get to Heaven.”
And with her Bible beside her, the one she asked her daughter to bring so she would have it close, she said with her eyes on mine
“You will”
And that was that. The last time I saw her.
Funny how little things can jump start memories.
I make aprons and cook and write these stories and have been reminded this week
it’s entirely likely I spend too much time doing and not enough time
sitting, resting, listening. It’s on my agenda, to do more of that.
Today though,
I thought of those days, spent with people I don’t know but they have impacted my life. I thought of that extended part of my family and then you know what I did?
I made pie
I made Raspberry pie. Actually I didn’t have enough raspberries so I added a few blueberries. It isn’t exactly the same as the one I took to those ladies
one dying and two mourning.
But I remembered and I felt like eating pie.
It’s late! I’m breaking the cardinal rule of
No computer within an hour of bedtime. I need to sleep but I also need to tell you
Don’t let the giants in your life Ruin your life. In the past year we have talked together about the good and bad.
Happy and not so much. (Check the links below).
and who am I really, to tell you about these things? What grief have I known?
You might say that mine doesn’t measure up to yours. you may be right.
I was talking to a friend and we were saying that we can’t compare ours to each other’s.
Whether it’s grief or joy, it’s ours.
Mine
Yours
and we each feel
whatever we feel and it’s big and it
hurts
or it’s big and it’s
abounding joy.
We study the Bible, every Wednesday at the big church on the corner, where lots of people worship on Sunday and fewer worship and study during the week. We study and we talk about what we are studying and it’s
the best.
I learn and I talk (no surprise there) and I even listen and while it all happens
I learn more.
We have what we call a wrap up talk at the end of each Wednesday morning and it’s good. I took a turn a few weeks ago. I worked on that lesson and I learned.
My turn, was the story of David and Goliath and I had heard the story so many times I didn’t even need to read it before I prepared the talk. But I did it anyway. Read the story and listened to what God wanted to tell me about what I should say.
I wrote the words for that talk
Twice.
I read it and spoke it and changed the words and it wasn’t right. I prayed and I listened and I wanted it to be what God wanted it to be and it wasn’t, I was sure.
I wrote it again. The third time. While I was writing I knew, He was getting through to me. He was going to say some amazing things and He was going to use my mouth to plant seeds in hearts.
When I stood up to speak the words He gave me to speak
my heart was full and I talked and I learned while I was doing it and now I’m going to share it with you.
It’s unpolished, unprofessional, unscripted, unedited and it’s live. There are mistakes and I talked and then we listened to a song and I hope you will
hang in there and listen to the end. Listen to the five points and
Be Encouraged
because God has great things for us
for you and me and we can’t, we just cannot keep going through life, being attacked and broken and worn out by
Giants.
God is good to give us hope
Be Encouraged.
And Now I will go to bed and I hope to sleep.
You are Invited
Yes! I’m at it again! There’s a lot going on in my world and most of it
because
I keep jumping in
further and deeper.
Not sure why God wired me this way. It must be about the gifting.
We all are.
Gifted.
It seems this topic has been coming up recently, in conversation.
I was at another one of those events the other day. The ones where I get dressed up and try to look my best. There’s nothing especially special about the people I was with, but until recently it made me nervous to think about spending an evening with them. I’m not talking about 4 or 6 or even 14, sitting around my table. This group tops out around 500, in their finest. Fancy!!
Participating in conversation with this crowd requires a certain amount, no, a great deal of
listening.
What is that saying? Something about being careful not to open your mouth and so to put to rest any question as to your foolishness.
In this particular crowd I have been known to show a certain amount of timidity. Yes I am serious, but those days are pretty much over now. As a dear friend has been heard to say, sharing a philosophy I attempt to emulate
“People don’t scare me”. I’m trying to think that way!
So there we were on Friday evening, hobnobbing with those who would be considered by many, to be somebodies. Of course, we all know,
the many I speak of are not nearly as important as the
One
who makes all ultimate decisions and is the creator of everything there is.
So, once again and as seems to be uppermost in so many minds since the question keeps being asked of
Me.
“So Pam, what are you doing with yourself these days?”
I don’t know why exactly,
but the question sort of causes a catch in my heart.
That’s when I jump. These days I actually Leap, into answering the question.
I will not fear but will speak the truth.
I Samuel 12:24 Says
Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.”
Oh How I love this verse! How could I possibly choose A (singular) life verse?
Every time I turn around, there’s another one. Put there, for me. A promise. A reminder. A guide.
“I do a fair bit of helping and serving and I love to use my spiritual gift of hospitality.”
That’s when I find myself looking into the face of confusion, hesitation, consideration.
“I don’t know what you mean” was one of the responses on Friday evening.
So what else could I do but explain?
Not sure she got it, even after I shared some of the things I am involved in, but that’s alright.
On Saturday evening, same people, different event, the question was asked once again and I explained
again. This one, understood and I even went a bit further to tell her about this
blog and
the APRON MARKET. Now that, I tell you, took some courage. She liked the idea and said she needs a new apron. Unfortunately the room was so noisy that our conversation was not in depth and ended before it was actually finished. Maybe I can explain more
later.
But now I’m getting to what I want to say to you.
It’s kind of about hospitality and aprons and scones and sharing.
Some of my favourite things.
Today is the launch of APRON CUTIES
I’m pretty excited and looking forward to sharing them with you. Fun and Pretty. Both are things I like a lot.
You are invited to
FABRIC, SCONES AND PEOPLE
If you are interested in viewing the newest collection of aprons
If you like to munch on scones
If you enjoy visiting over china cups and saucers full of tea or coffee
you are welcome to attend an apron viewing party
Saturday, May 2nd
10:30 A.M. to 2:00 P.M.
RSVP by Sunday April 26th to
Pam
Pamelastaley@hotmail.com
Hope to see you then and in the mean time, do some looking into what your God given gifts and talents are. Once you recognize your gift your world will become a whole lot more exciting and fulfilling.
See you soon
Your Friend, Pam